Infrequently Asked Questions

Answers to things no one has asked me, ever.

Q. Why does the Amazon paperback edition of Don’t Piss Off The Fairies have 138 pages, while the Amazon Kindle version has 80 “printed” pages?

A. I have no idea. I suspect it’s because at 8.5″ x 11″ – the submitted size for Kindle – it’s 46 pages, while the print version had to be submitted at cut size, which is 6″ x 9″ and 138 pages. Because 46 is totally the same as 80, right? But don’t worry, the text is the same in both versions. 😉 The only thing missing from the Kindle version is the back cover. 

(Amazon says it’s an estimate based on font size and other e-reader settings, but given that everyone will set those things differently, your results may vary).

Q. How long is Don’t Piss Off The Fairies? What is the reading level? Is it for kids or adults?

A. Ooo, a three-parter. Ok.

It’s a novella, and it’s just under 26K words. Although the story is very different, it’s similar in length and complexity to Dicken’s A Christmas Carol.

A quick check through puts Don’t Piss Off The Fairies at a Flesch-Kincaid  grade level of 5.1. For comparison,  A Christmas Carol is grade level 6.7 on the Flesch-Kincaid scale (per the Lit2Go page).

Kids – well, that depends on the kid. The story has no sex or romantic plot line, and only mild comic violence (such as hitting someone with a flower), mild veiled swearing, some teasing, and a few stoned garden gnomes (pun intended). If you have any specific concerns, feel free to contact me.

Adults – Adults enjoy it too! It’s silly and light, but it’s not really directed at children, per se. Let’s just say I love Animaniacs, Futurama, and the Muppets, and watched a lot of those while I was writing. 😉

Q. Why fairies?

A. Why not fairies?

Q. Where should I buy your book?

A. Anyplace that sells it would be awesome, thanks for asking! If you have a favorite bookshop, please try there. If you’re looking for a digital copy and have no preferred vendor, please consider Smashwords, as my royalty there is a bit higher than elsewhere.

NB: Smashwords will not add the book to your e-reader. You will have to download the file and add it yourself. If this is not something you want to do, please use a different vendor – I have made a convenient list of places my book is available.

Q. I love Bud Mushroom! Where can I find more Bud Mushroom? I need more Bud Mushroom!

A. First, take a deep breath. Ok? Ok. We all love him, so the excitement is understandable. 😉

Bud has his own blog. You can find it at

You can follow him on facebook.

He also has his own section of the Twinkle Dingle shop on Zazzle

Finally, he wrote about one of his adventures! Bud Mushroom and the Nefarious Trousers is a light quirky story about the time Bud was captured by pixies. The e-version is available FREE on Smashwords, in multiple formats. If you’d rather have a printed copy, you can get it from Amazon (sorry, it’s not free, but I don’t make anything on them, the cost is just to cover expenses).

Q. Why the Viking hat? (ok, I fudged with this one, as it has actually been asked!)

A. I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo for many years, and part of their logo is a horned Viking helmet. Since my birthday is also in November, I wore the hat every day as a combined birthday/writing hat in November of 2015. Also, some of my fiction is set in Viking-age Iceland, so there was another connection. Finally, as the hat lacks any historical accuracy whatsoever, but horned helmets are commonly associated with the Viking-era anyway, I wear it because irony amuses me (second only to sarcasm).